Mr McMahon's Road Trip
by Stephy69
Summary: Mr McMahon Gets A Random Idea To Send Five Superstars On A Road Trip. Pairings...Aint Been Decided Cept AmyxRandy. But Yeahhh Yah Know What To Do
1. Chapter 1

Okies..I Read A Fic Challenge Somewhere and I have attempted to try it. We shall see )

Extra Notice : This is set…hmmmm in October/November 2004 my favorite time ) And Cena is on Raw at this point. And HHH is a good guy but Randy acts as heel )

Anyways….

It was Saturday morning and Mr McMahon had called an emergency meeting between the superstars and himself. Now, getting the superstars to work at ordinary times was hard enough, but on a Saturday morning ? When Coach had heard this, he had spat his coffee all over the room. Mr McMahon often had abstract or idiosyncratic ideas but this was just a joke. "They'll never show. And if they do, they'll be half asleep!" He had stated, but Mr McMahon had stuck to his guns and now…it was Saturday and the time of the meeting (9.30am) had arrived and Coach's estimations werent far from wrong.

"John. Am I dead?" asked Dave struggling to open his eyes. Normally, Dave would have been awake for almost three hours by now, but after a night on the tiles, he could barely keep his eyes focused. John shook his head. "No but it damn feels like it"  
"Good morning loves," came a female voice from behind them. Both men spun round to see Amy standing smiling behind them. She had been out with them the night before, along with half the roster but she looked so fresh faced compared to them.  
"How come you look like that? And I…look and feel like shit?" Asked Dave.  
"Because David. You arent used to nights out with Orton. Over the past few months, I've gotten used to it. Falling through the hotel room at about six in the morning and still having to get up at seven ? All part of the fun." She said smiling. EVERYONE knew not to go out for a drink with Randy unless, you were used to it. Cause NO ONE could keep up with him on the first night out. Dave rolled his eyes at the diva and one of his hands over his short hair. "Where is that dumb fuck anyways?" Amy shrugged as a group of around 15 people walked into the large hall and found themselves seats. Amy grabbed a table and pushed it against the wall before sitting on it. Just as she got confortable, she felt a large hand push her over. "My seat." the owner of the hand said.  
"HUNTER!!!" She whined.  
"Yes my beautiful little sister?" Came the reply. Amy scowled and moved over. There was no point arguing with him when he called her beautiful. It just meant everything she called him, he'd call her something sweet and piss her off more.

Both Amy and Hunter watched as, just before Mr McMahon began to speak Randy walked into the room smiling and fixing his hair. "The guys a posing bastard!" Hunter laughed as his friend wandered over to where they were sitting. "Get up Ames and yah can sit on my knee." Amy jumped off the table so Randy could get on, then moved back onto his knee. "Comfy?" Amy nodded. "Yah can start now Mr M." Randy said as the room, including Mr McMahon began to laugh.

"Well, ladies, gentlemen and Randy. Welcome," said Mr McMahon addressing the large group of superstars. "I've called you here today to announce that, we need to up the ratings. They're currently the best ever but we need to get them HIGHER. HIGHER. HIGHER."

The superstars stared at Mr McMahon like he was mad and as everything went deathly silent John was heard saying, "This is why I had to miss my fucking cartoons? What IS The world coming to?"

"Well Mr Cena let me answer that for you," continued Mr McMahon ignoring the fact that ninety percent of the room was shaking with laughter at John's sheer stupidity. "The world is becoming more and more demanding to meet its heroes. And you WWE superstars are a large majority of those heroes. Along with 9/11 firefighters, NBA players and Santa. Y'all are heroes. Which is why I have been planning a RAW ROAD TRIP for five lucky superstars."

"Lucky ? More like fucking retarded." Randy whispered in Amy's ear. "I bet he picks five randomers he can do without." Amy nodded and agreed as Hunter shook his head, knowing EXACTLY who Mr McMahon had chosen.

"Those superstars will be chosen from a list of ten I currently have," Vince said, leaning back slightly. "John Cena, Dave Batista, Hunter Helmsley, Amy Dumas, Trish Stratus, Randy Orton, Victoria Varon, Chris Benoit, Adam Copeland and Christy Hemme. That is all. Tahnk you." and with that, Vince McMahon walked through the door, leaving a room full of dumb founded superstars.

"Well there goes that theory." said Randy leaning back and smacking his head off the wall. Hunter stared straight ahead. He had known what Mr McMahon was doing. Stephanie had told him. Him and Stephanie, contrary to many beliefs, had never been a couple, but good friends. And she still updated him on her fathers warped plans.

"I know EXACTLY who he's sending on this trip. Us three, Cena and Christy. He wants to push the others and he doesn't think he can do that while we're still there cus we're 'fan favorites'" He stated running his hand through his blonde hair.

"Dude. The fans hate me. Lita is never there, Christy's just a washed down Lita and Cena has given up rapping so the fans are sick of him. Aint that right Ames?" Amy nodded.

"Well I'mma call him. Cus he wont answer if we go beating down his door," she said logically. But as she typed in his number and let it ring she heard Coach's obnoxious voice say "All lines are currently down."

"He's pretending the lines are down," she said Hanging up agressively. "Hunt. What are we gunna do? I don't wanna go on a road trip. Did steph say anything else about it ?"

"Well be gone for quite a while. Driving around, with only a small alowance for each day. We'll get our hotels booked but that's all. And we have to buy food gas and all the rest with the allowance." Hunter said.

"What about hair gel? Does that come into the allowance?" Randy joked. "Aww come on ames. You'll be with me. It'll be fun, I promise." He wrapped his arms around the now tired looking red head.

"I doubt it…" muttered hunter. 


	2. Chapter 2

Thankies So Much For The Reviews…Btw I Think I Should Explain I Am Trying A Quotes Challenge Thing. So In Chapter One I Used Two Outta Forty-Three :)

So….

It was half past eleven and a large group of the superstars had gone to a local diner to have breakfast. Amy was currently sitting between Randy and Christy complaining about how she couldn't do the whole road trip thing.

"Ames, look, I'm the youngest here, I'm the best looking and I get laid the most." Randy said, wrapping his arm round her. "I should be the one complaining about possibly having to spend time with y'all." Randy smiled. He was only friends with Amy cause she was Hunter's sister, and sometimes it felt like he was older than her cause she was very good at acting like little girl lost. Which was VERY annoying, but Randy found it quite cute and let her away with doing it.

"Randy?" said Hunter. Randy looked up. "For one, you don't get laid the most and your not the hottest. And for two, if your hand touches my sisters ass one more time…it'll be getting to know your dick VERY well cus I'll break your legs and make sure you don't get laid for a LONG time."

John looked confused as Randy's hand pulled away from Amy as though he had burned it. "Actually, that's not fair. I mean just cause his legs are broken don't mean he cant have sex. Cause think about guys in wheelchairs. They have kids and stuff, so I guess the chick could just go on top." He said.

"John," said Christy reaching across the table. "I don't think Randy wants anything else to happen to him. So we'll just leave that shall we ?" John just smiled back.

"Yah know what ?" said Amy. "We need drinks. We need a lot of drinks."

"I second that." Replied Dave. And with that, he stood up, walked over to the woman behind the counter and ordered a round of drinks. As the other five sat around waiting for Dave to come back, John brought up an interesting point. "Why us five? I mean, look at the big man up there. The fans go nuts when he appears. But those two," he waggled his fingers at Randy and Amy. "The fans HATE him. And he knows it. So Mr McMahon can't REALLY do without him. Cus every show needs a bastard." Christy and Amy spluttered and tried to refrain from laughing. "And the womens division is gunna go to HELL. Cause Amy's supposed to be like 'superwoman' to the fans. That's when she's there of course. But the fans love her. So I guess I can understand why your going. But why Christy ? If anything she NEEDS a push. Not one out of the door dammit."

"I've got it," whispered Randy. "Stephanie, is trying to kill Vince. She's been putting poison in his meals. Linda's been helping. And the drugs have addled his brain making him delusional." He ended the statement by slapping the table and grinning.

"And the sad thing is…that's almost believable these days." said Hunter sighing. "Face it. Whether we like it or not. We have to spend an un-measurable amount of time together. In cramped rooms, cause he wont put us up in no Hilton's. And we're gonna be driving together the whole time. No breaks. Come on. I mean it's bad enough that I have to do this trip at all. But with my sister, a hyperactive cheerleader, a vanilla ice wannabe and a complete jackass who wants to have sex with my sister ? This will be fun" Hunter growled.

"Have sex ? Huh ?" Said Amy and Randy at the same time.

"It's a nice way of saying boning." Said John, attempting to be helpful.

Hunter, from beside him, slapped him across the head. "We know what it means ass hole. It's just I don't know where he got that idea." said Amy.

"Yeah. Hunt. No worries. Me and Ames are only friends. Promise." Said Randy, reaching down and rubbing his own legs.

"Whatever, here comes Dave." Dave brought over a large tray which contained a bottle of Corona ((for Amy)), three Jack and Cokes ((Randy, Hunter and John)), a Southern Comfort ((for Dave)) and glass of wine ((for Christy)).

"Yah always have to order the most expensive thing huh Christ ?" Amy laughed, rolling her eyes at the red-head. Amy NEVER seemed to get on with the divas. It was just something she found to be hard. Like the time she threw Stacy down the stairs and got suspended. John had vouched it was an accident but everyone knew Amy ahted Stacy. No one knew why. Hell Even Amy didn't know why. But Christy was the one diva on the WHOLE roster she enjoyed spending time with. She was so bubbly, it was hard to hate her.

"Yup," said Christy. "but only when other people are paying."

"Well Mr McMahon's gonna be paying for the next few weeks, but I can assure you, you wont be buying the most expensive ANYTHING then." laughed John. For all he was a joker and a bit of an idiot, he was rather practical and logical. This had led to the group deciding that only he and Hunter should be in charge of money as the girls couldn't be trusted and Randy would give them the money anyway.

"Cant we all just take our credit cards?" asked Amy. Hunter shook his head.

"He'll have thought of that. He wants to make this trip unpleasant for us all. And he knows that little money, budgets and rations aint something ANY of us are used to. I mean come on Ames, roughly how much money would you spend a week on make up and hair stuff." Amy shrugged. "Exactly. We don't think about it. But we're gonna have to over the next few weeks. The trip starts on Monday. So he'll tell us who he's picked tomorrow. So right now I say we finish our drinks, go home and get packing."

"But y'all don't know what to pack. I mean, you could be in alaska, or miami. Yah should pack for all weathers." Dave said. "but I guess I should go just now. Leave you to whine and complain. I'm hitting the gym. Bye." He threw back his drink, finishing it in one gulp and walked out the diner.

"Yah think he's ok with us all going?" said Christy. "I mean, you four are like his best friends and your ALL going. He'll be alone."

"No he wont." said Randy. "Let's just say him and the psycho diva are a bit, ahem, closer than y'all think."

"Vicky?" asked Amy. "nahh. How do you know?"

"Let's just say, me in a conjoining room when I'm pissed was NEVER gonna be a good idea. I walked into there room thinking it was the bathroom and I sorta looked round when I heard a chick screaming Oh Dave. And it was her, so I turned round and got the hell outta there. They never knew I saw." Randy laughed.

"And that, my friends, is called hypocrisy." Said John. "who was the guy who told me and you NEVER to sleep with the divas Orton? Who was the guy who said, don't sleep with them cause you'll have to see them everyday afterwards."

"And who didn't listen?" asked Amy rolling her eyes at both of them. "leave him alone. He's entitled to some fun. Hell, if anything, I'm jealous."

"You wanna bang Vicky?" asked John.

"Nooo. I just think he's lucky to have someone there for him every night. I could do with that." said Amy laughing and dodging away from Hunter who had reached across the table to hit her for mentioning her sex life in front of him. 


	3. Chapter 3

Heyyy. Thanks For All The Wonderful Reviews. Im Sorry I Havent Updated This IN A While But I've Had Exams And Stuff Not To Mention A Huge Case Of Writers Block But Hey…I'm Here Now. So Here We Go.  
Quote counter up til now 5/43 GIMME A LIST OF THIGNS THAT COULD BE ON THE PAPER

It was Monday morning. Five am to be exact. The night before had been rather eventful and everyone was recovering. At about seven o'clock on Sunday night, Amy, Hunter, Randy, Christy and John all received phone calls telling them that THEY were the "lucky ones"  
Randy, who had been 'busy' with Michelle McCool had gone into a strop. Yelling at Mr McMahon and telling him that he "can't go on the tour. Because my grandpa's sick" he was quite clearly reminded that his grandpa was dead and that he was going anyways.

John had also put up a fight. Although he knew there was no chance of him getting out of it, he tried his hardest. "Your ratings'll go down. The champ wont be there. No one will care." he too had been reminded that he'd been going. The other three hadnt minded. They knew fighting was pointless. So instead of complaining, Amy had called Jeff and sat whining down the phone to him for four hours. And that was why she was so tired that very morning.

"Amy you have to stay awake!" said Hunter, poking Amy in the tummy as they sat in Mr. McMahon's office, waiting for the itinerary. She blinked slowly and stared up at her brother who was looking positively terrified. "Christy ? Where's Cena"  
Christy shrugged. "I don't know. He went outside after his cell rang. I think it was Ashley."

Randy rolled his eyes and Hunter laughed. "that girl's such a hoe. I mean she wants to be Ames. But she's copying LITA. I Mean what the hell is that all about"  
The other three laughed as John came back through the door, Mr McMahon following after.

"Now as you know. You will be expected to continue this journey the whole way through. This is what you will need." Mr McMahon said, not even turning to look at them. He handed Amy a cell phone, Christy a map, Randy a credit card, Hunter keys to the car and John a piece of paper. "Now the cell phone has been locked. No phone calls can be made and only phone calls from MY number can be received. The map is self explanatory. As is the car. The credit card, will have limits. You can only spend so much on each thing. This is all mentioned on that piece of paper. The paper sets out what limitations you have. And it also gives you tasks. You have to collect everything mentioned on that paper or you all lose your wages fro three months after you come back."

The five of them huddled round John to read the paper. "But sir some of these are damn near impossible." said Christy, looking astonished.

"That isnt my problem Hemme. I'll call you each time to make sure you are at your destination and I'll call you to tell you what your destination IS. For now though, you should be in…Charlotte." Mr McMahon added. "Goodbye." He dismissed them.

All their luggage was outside the office. "How are we gunna drive to Charlotte from here?" asked John. "Dallas to Charlotte. And we don't even know when we have to be there for ?" He sighed.

"look. We'll juss go out get in the car and start driving. We'll work out who'll drive and stuff when we're out there." said Randy, surprising himself with his logic.

They all dragged their cases outside and Hunter pressed the button on the keys. A large SUV began to bleep. "At least he didn't give us a three wheeler." said John trying to lighten the mood. "Christy, you and Ames go to the car and get in the back. She looks like she's gunna fall asleep anyways. And me and those two will get the cases."

Christy nodded as she tried to make the other woman drop her case. "Will you fuck off Hemme ? I Can do it for myself. And John. I'm not an invalid, im a GIRL."

John rolled his eyes and pulled the case from Amy's hands, "All I'm saying here is that one of us might need a little nap. Now Go!"

Amy stubbornly stormed away, cursing John under her breath.

Christy sighed. This trip didn't seem so much fun any more. But she'd have to wait to see what would happen…. 


End file.
